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Please, Please, Sorry, Thank You

by Mendon Kissling

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1.
Are you still wild as the wind, are you free as the breeze Stand in rain and sun, marvel at the wilderness The place where you work, so much sick time Walking in real love, golden, so long ago Are you still wild
2.
3.
Call a home phone that's long gone Hold me tight through summer's end I will never find real love Midnight, My broken heart Joy at mother, absolute now, this expensive meal We always meet in the wind The internet is permanent Lay down in a field and cry your eyes out
4.
Vicious drunk with the eyes of a spider lost inside an online casino Is the magic really gone if the coins always been palmed? Were you destined to be embalmed like it's none of your business? Bloodsport night watching lightning bugs fade Youth and beauty and cheap sentimental dates You're talking all the time repeatedly walking by I got an active computer life but it's none of your business I reach through space and time for a memory of sunshine I got an active computer life but it's none of your business Space and time
5.
Talking in the dark and laughing through the Sundays I wish you hadn't moved away Emerald Bay memoirs, a house on a hill above a shore I'd use the search to find you now, but I wouldn't want to be found by myself anymore Since years of penury and boredom have made me trashy I'm not the carefree artist that you knew From talking in the dark and laughing through the Sundays I wish you hadn't moved away
6.
Walk to the top of the stairs and turn around It's too late for love I am so much older now, I am so much colder now Neon creases in the good times, dance your life away Say a name in midnight's stillness, sleep your life away
7.
Fluorescent emptiness in the parking lot behind the Hess Watch my watch, smoke pyramids, the clerk thinks I'm a broke degenerate You were supposed to be my ride I'm too young and drunk to drive I guess someone changed your mind Now I'll walk home alone knowing you'll walk home alone someday Summer grass autumn moon, I walk along the train tracks and the backyards wanting you Permanent loneliness, I was born to wander like a ghostly penitent You were supposed to be my ride Guess you found weed and got high I'm dancing in the moonlight Now I'll walk home alone hoping you'll walk alone someday
8.
Can't believe my eyes you found someone new Left me behind, standing like a fool One hand on the chain link I watch you from above Watch you swim around him, watch you fall in love Though the years blow through me, it's like I'm still there Towel over my shoulder, gray electric air I can't believe my eyes, I found someone new I'll try to be kind, but I'll betray them too
9.
Your bright red jacket, cloud of clerks We pass each other, off/on to work I hope we meet again somewhere far away from here From the jagged shadows cast by glassy ziggurats Everywhere I walk I'm tailed by the specter of my failed marriages and terror that we'll never meet again Maybe I had a chance, maybe I threw it away Maybe everyone you meet loves you the same
10.
I hate change and I can't change and here comes super rutters anyway Galaxies end, lovers part, your parents age Fortune comes and ocean leaves, permanent Galaxies end, lovers part, your parents' age Fortune comes and leaves turn gold, permanent Oh God, hold me tight beneath sodium arc lights My automatic life, I can't change, permanent

about

Recorded August and September 2018 on a Tascam 424 Mk3.
Fixed, mixed, and mastered by Andrew Harner.
Alto saxophone on "I Hope We Meet Again" by John Adams.
Thanks for listening!

credits

released October 31, 2018

Cover photo by Keith Shingleton.

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Mendon Kissling Pennsylvania

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